


Thunderstorms

by Not_You



Series: Odinsons [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Abuse of Authority, Age Play, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Gen, Good Loki, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mind Control, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Self-Hatred, Super Soldier Serum, Wetting, age play used for evil, alternate universe - apshds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 08:21:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6649903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_You/pseuds/Not_You
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm reading Lauralot's excellent and emotionally eviscerating 'Love Is For Children,' and one installment's brief window into an even darker world drove me to type the first chapter of this directly into the comments instead of sleeping.</p><p>In a world where Alexander Pierce has both Steve and Bucky under his control and conditioned to be his helpless children when they're not Soldiering, he gets greedy and brings in a captive Thor, as well.  Thor does not stay captive, and he's taking his new little brothers with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The day Daddy brings home another blonde boy is when everything changes. Bucky doesn't know everything is changing, of course. He's being quiet and good. He told Daddy he loves him, so he gets cake. Sunshine doesn't get any cake, and Bucky is trying to figure out if Daddy really didn't notice when Bucky snuck Sunshine a cookie last time, or if he's waiting for him to be stupid enough to do it again. He jumps up to go hug Daddy when he comes in, but stops and stares at the new boy. He's wearing a collar, and that makes Bucky think of grownup games and get scared. But Daddy just says that Thunder will be staying with them, and that this is his chance to choose if he wants to be good or be bad.

Right now Thunder looks too confused and tired to be anything, and just sits next to Bucky and eats a small piece of cake when Daddy gives it to him. The collar looks heavy and uncomfortable, and Bucky wishes he could do something to make him feel better. He settles for offering him the purple elephant. Thunder hugs it, a tear rolling down his cheek. Everything is changing, but Bucky doesn't know it yet.

Thunder is in-between. Most of the time he's good, like Bucky. He likes being hugged and petted and told that he's a good boy, but sometimes he's just as bad as Sunshine, and has to go to the room. Bucky hates that, when both of them are in there. Sometimes he can't help it and cries, and he gets punished too.

But the great, scary, wonderful thing is that Thunder can take messages. He can tell Sunshine that Bucky is worried about him, that he uses the elephant to try and give him some of the sweets. Sunshine can tell Bucky that he loves him for real, not like Daddy tries to make him say.

Thunder is very special, and Bucky isn't quite sure how yet. He can take a lot more damage on missions, and sometimes he jumps so far it's like he's flying. Sometimes, when he gets upset, there are thunderstorms. Then Daddy takes him to the room for a long, long time, and blood comes out from under the door. But Thunder always gets better, even faster than Bucky and Sunshine. And he's never scared of thunder. If something made Daddy that mad at Bucky, he'd be scared every time it happened, but Thunder laughs, every time.

Sometimes, when it's dark and quiet and Daddy's asleep, Thunder tells Bucky about his real family. How his real Daddy never makes him play grownup games, and how he has a Mommy, and she lets him cry, and that he has a little brother that he helps take care of. He has darker hair than Bucky, and he's clever and quick. It makes Thunder sad sometimes, and Bucky is always terrified that Daddy will wake up, but he likes hearing about Thunder's family. He wonders if he ever had a real family of his own, and then almost cries because he's being so bad to think that.

And then one day Bucky wakes up to a loud clanging metal sound. That's scary, and it's even scarier when he sees that Thunder has torn off his collar. Daddy put the collar on him, won't he be mad, now? And Thunder is laughing as the sky clouds over and the rain comes pouring down. And Daddy comes stomping in, right past where Sunshine has started coloring on the wall again and Bucky doesn't even time to be scared about that, because Thunder hits Daddy so hard he flies across the room.

"Thou wouldst enslave a prince of Asgard? Use me for thy sport, a plaything, a pet? What a fool thou art," he says, stalking over to where Daddy is lying, and Bucky is scared and sad and happy and angry and all he can do is cling to his bunny and cry. Daddy starts talking, probably looking for the words to make Bucky big again, to make him a Soldier, able to fight anybody, but Thunder clamps a hand over his mouth. "Oh no, thou serpent, thou lowest sump of vileness. No enchantments now."

There's another big noise and a bunch of light and Bucky is wailing now. Sunshine runs to him, putting his arms around Bucky and telling him that it's okay, that he loves him. And being able to hear it from him directly is so novel that it calms Bucky just a little, even as a bunch of strange people come out of the light.

"Brother!" the foremost of them cries, and flicks his hand in a negligent way, binding Daddy from his toes to just under his nose in silver cords that appear out of nowhere, and that's amazing. And pretty. And scary. And Thunder is hugging the man and he must be the little brother, even if he seems so big now. He's yelling at Thunder and calling him a fool and Thunder just hugs him more tightly and says that he's right.

"I have been woefully unmanned and dishonored here," he says to his brother, and to his three friends who come up to hug him as well, looking around at the room in confusion. "But these two have suffered more. Loki, can you heal them of their enchantments?"

"That's hard to say, Thor."

"They are... they are little ones, somehow. Children of an abominable father," he adds, glaring at Daddy. Bucky can's stop crying but he can't be a Soldier because nobody told him to and it feels so good to hold onto Sunshine tight, like no one will ever take him away again.

No one does take Sunshine away. Thunder, who's really Thor, takes them both away to his mother, a really nice lady who feeds them and sings to them and also does tests on them, but her tests aren't like when a doctor does it. They don't hurt.


	2. Chapter 2

Loki has no idea what to make of the situation, but he knows that he hates Pierce as he has never hated anyone in his life. He hands the creature off to Thor's friends, because he knows that if Pierce is left in his hands, he will flay the skin from his living bones, and now is not the time. Beyond imprisoning and raping his brother and tampering with his very mind, Pierce created little ones specifically to hurt them, and the thought makes Loki's blood boil. He doesn't show it, of course. It's not good to be angry around children, they take it to themselves. Instead he waits for the Warriors Three to depart and then steps onto the Bifrost with the little ones and Thor, performing the little magical head-count that happens without effort now, something he has done so many times. 

The blond is still clinging to his darker friend, and Thor holds onto them both, murmuring that it will be all right. The flashing lights frighten both of them, but when it stops and they're standing just outside the city, the blonde one looks around with his mouth hanging open, dazzled by color and light. The darker one cries and hides his face in his friend's shoulder and they're so _little_. Loki has heard that mortals play at being little sometimes, but this is entirely too real, and the actual size and power of the two men in front of him barely registers.

“It's so pretty,” the blond whispers, and Thor smiles, looking on the verge of tears.

“Yes, dear one, yes it is.”

“Am... am I allowed to look?” Loki remembers dangling colorful toys and beads over his own babies, taking pleasure in the spellbound way they looked at pretty things, and he has to start counting backwards by thirteens to keep himself calm.

“Of course, dear one,” Thor tells the boy, as Loki keeps thinking of both of them, “Now you can have all the pretty things you like.”

“...And sweets?” the dark one whispers, still clinging to his stuffed rabbit.

“No one in this family gets sweets unless everyone gets sweets,” Thor says, and Loki chuckles.

Heimdall is of course overjoyed to see them, and Thor doesn't let him apologize too long for being unable to see Thor while he was wearing the collar. Mother and Father have already been apprised of the situation, and Mother is waiting for them in her workroom when they reach the palace. The workroom is really the heart of their home, and exactly where poor, wounded Thor and these little ones should go.

Mother is surrounded by golden light, and when she opens her arms, Thor almost falls into them, crying. Mother murmurs soothingly to him and gently pushes him away so she can see the little ones. The dark-haired boy looks terrified, but the blond one stares at her sharply, like he's trying to remember where he has seen her before.

“I am Frigga, darling children, and I shall not harm you.”

The blond shuffles toward her, one hand still fisted into his immobile friend's clothing. The friend doesn't move, so mother stands up and steps forward to take the blond into her arms. She holds him for a long time, and he never lets go of his friend. At first the friend can't stop crying, and it hurts Loki to hear the poor thing. But Mother has her ways, and when she starts to sing to them, soft and unbelievably soothing, the darker boy lets Mother gather him in. She keeps singing to them, and only when they're lulled and sweet in her arms does she ask them if they're hungry.

“...Yes, ma'am?” the blond boy whispers, and Thor kisses his cheek and tells him that it matters if he's hungry, that Mother isn't asking just to be cruel. 

“And your friend?” she coos.

“Bucky's hungry,” the blond says, like that's the one thing that he's sure of.

“And you, my own?” she asks Thor. She's doing a wonderful job of controlling her field, staying soft and golden for the little ones when Loki knows that she must be even angrier and more grieved than he is.

Thor starts to cry, and Mother pulls him into the hug. “Yes, Mother,” Thor whimpers, “I am very hungry, but we must be careful of the little ones. They haven't been fed often or well.”

While they wait for food to be prepared, Thor strips out of the childish clothing his captor forced on him. The dark-haired boy stares at him in confusion, while the blond one covers his eyes, blushing. Midgardians are always prudish, Loki finds.

“I only need fresh clothes,” Thor tells them, and soon is dressed in something like his usual attire. The servants who bring it are of course glad to see him home, but too well-trained to hang around asking questions about the new arrivals. Mother sends them to prepare food and to find clothing for their guests, and the dark-haired boy cries again and wets himself. Loki has to start counting again when the poor child expects to be punished.

“None of that,” Mother says. “It's not your fault.” She gives Thor a warm, wet towel, and he takes the boy aside to clean him up, wrapping him in a blanket and bringing him back to join the others.

“There,” Thor says, “Nice and clean again, and no one is angry with you.”

By the time they get the others changed into childish smocks and breeches, the food is ready. It's a comfort to Loki to see his brother working on a whole haunch of roast boar, even if the others are still like children and must be fed as such, on porridge with honey. Mother helps them to take small bites, and when the blond starts groaning, she rubs his belly and tells him that he'll feel better soon. The words are actually a spell, and Loki knows that there's a similar one worked into the honey. Mother is doing everything she can to nourish their battered systems, to heal the inside of their bodies even if nothing can as yet be done about their minds.


	3. Chapter 3

Steve has no idea how he can trust these people after what he has been through, but he knows that he can. He can trust them and maybe they can help Bucky and maybe it'll be okay. His eyes fill with tears because he needs someone to help Bucky because Steve can't help him and it's just like the train and now he's crying a lot and Daddy—no, not Daddy, Pierce, Pierce always punished them for crying, especially if it was loud.

But that doesn't happen now, because he's not there and he feels stupid because he's crying and his pants are wet and he's a stupid, broken baby even though he has special stuff that keeps people like Pierce from confusing him as bad. Mother-- Thor's mother, Frigga-- is in another room now, with Thor, and his brother Loki is minding them and it shouldn't be so bad because he and Bucky are allowed to play together, but now he's sitting here howling because he knows this is wrong, knows he should be helping Bucky and never ever doing anything Pierce would have wanted him to do, like piss himself and cry, cry loud so he can be punished.

“Dear one,” Loki says, and Steve screams, throwing his stupid purple elephant at him as hard as he can, because men who speak to him like that want to hurt him, want to make him love them and then hurt him for it, and he hates that and he hates Pierce and he hates Loki and he hates himself and he hates his stupid purple elephant and he can't stop screaming.

“Please!” Loki says, and his voice is different now. So different that Steve stops to try and figure it out. And now Loki is a lady. He's a lady and Steve can't throw things at ladies. Or scream at them, but he keeps crying because now he feels so bad. Loki sighs, and pulls him into a hug, rocking him a little. “Dear one,” she says, “dear one, I know you hurt. I know you hurt.”

“Wanna be better,” Steve sobs, “wanna be better!”

“I know,” Loki says, “but it can't happen all at once. Please, you're frightening your little brother.”

It's something Pierce would say, and Steve screams again, struggling, forgetting all about not yelling at ladies or kicking them. Or shooting them and Pierce made him shoot ladies and Steve hates himself so much but Loki is letting him go. And Bucky does look scared, and now Steve can hug him. No one stops him, no one makes Bucky stand in the corner while they take Steve away to a room. They can just be together, Steve holding Bucky as tight as he can. Loki doesn't even make him let go when she cleans him up, and as Bucky breathes with Steve, his heart slows and he feels just a little better. 

Until Bucky whimpers, “Want Daddy,” and Steve wants Daddy too and he wants to throw up and he wants them both to be honorably dead. And then he actually thinks of Bucky dead, and somehow finds a way to hug him even more tightly.

“He has been bad to you,” Loki says, so gently.

“He's a good daddy!” Bucky sobs, and Loki sighs.

“Why are you afraid when you wet?”

“'Cause wetting is bad and Daddy will be mad at me and it'll hurt!”

“I'm a daddy _and_ a mommy,” Loki says. “I have five children, and I never hurt any of them for wetting. Not once.” Not once. Not once sounds so good. Not once sounds like Ma, like Steve's _real_ mother. Even Bucky goes quiet, thinking about that. “Anyone who does that doesn't know how to be a daddy,” Loki says. “We have to teach him better.”

Bucky is still sniffling, but he seems calmer. Loki smiles at them then, and asks if they'd like to see a magic trick. Something flickers in Steve's mind, an image of Bucky as a child, a real child, watching card tricks with open-mouthed wonder. What Loki does is way better than a card trick. She makes jeweled birds fly out of one of her sleeves and back into the other, and pulls roses out of thin air and then sets them on fire and makes pictures out of smoke that turns back into roses.

Loki ends her show by handing them each an egg, and telling them to crack it. Steve is kind of scared that Bucky will be upset because HYDRA made him try to hold eggs when his arm was still new and it hurt him, but he just seems curious to see what's inside. Steve is too, and can't help a happy little noise when he cracks the shell. It turns into silver or something after he does, and the inside is some kind of violet cream, the kind of thing that's old-fashioned now. Whenever the hell 'now' is this time, anyway. Whenever, the candy is delicious. He nibbles it slowly, still holding onto Bucky with one hand. Pierce never let them have this much physical contact, and Steve's very soul feels thirsty for it.

Bucky's egg turns gold, and has something in it that smells like those horehound drops Bucky always liked. He starts nibbling, but then stops. “Thunder said we all get candy.”

Loki smiles, sweet and sad, and strokes Bucky's hair. “You dear child. Of course we do.” An egg appears in her hand and she cracks it. It smells like some kind of tangy fruit, and she tells them all about frostberries and how delicious they are. They grow in the land where the frost giants live, and they're purest white on the outside and bright blue inside, so blue the candy stains her tongue. She sticks it out at them, and Steve giggles.


	4. Chapter 4

One of the most wonderful things about Mother is the way she listens. She lets Thor tell her all of it without interrupting, even when he starts crying from the shame and from the terrible things that have been done to the others and that he doesn't even know the fair boy's real name and that the dark one hadn't always remembered that he's called Bucky.

At last, when Thor has spilled everything out like a bellyful of poison, Mother wipes his eyes and his nose and pulls him into her arms, rocking him gently as she tells him that he is her dear one, and is strong to bear so much. He can feel the touch of her magic, soothing some of the wounds in his mind.

“Now,” she says, when his tears have stopped and he's calm, “I must ask you how it was done.”

“I... there was a chair,” he says, and goes on to describe it, tearing up again at the way it had ripped Bucky's memories from him. Of course electricity hadn't worked on Thor in anything like the same way, and the blonde boy had healed faster than Bucky, but he can give Mother some idea, and tells her everything he can remember about the drugs and other conditioning methods used on all three of them.

“Loki has brought me what remains of the collar he bound you with,” Mother says. “I will see what can be done. First, I must test you and those poor babes.”

“Don't frighten them, Mother,” he says, feeling like he's about to cry _again_. “The testing always hurt, even me, and they're only mortal.”

“I will be gentle,” she says, and stands. He follows her and she kisses his cheek, gazing into his eyes for a long moment. “My brave boy,” she says, “I am so glad that you are come home again.”

Thor hugs her tightly, and follows her into the room where she keeps her scanning equipment. It looks nothing like HYDRA's machines. Most of it is made of wood or stone, and some parts are made of light. The table isn't cold at all, but covered with a soft blanket with soothing and scanning magicks woven right into it. Thor feels his mind trying to twist into that childlike state Pierce infected him with, and he shudders.

Mother knows, of course, and she just strokes his hair one hand, the other controlling the scan. “It's all right to be little, dear one. No matter what you are, you are always my son.”

“Okay, Mama,” he says softly, and then just looks up at the pretty lights for a while. He's embarrassed when he gets out again, his mind snapping into its usual shape, but it's softened by the way Mother hugs him and tells him she's proud of him.

“Come,” she says, “let's go get the little ones.”

They find Loki and the children eating candy eggs, and it makes Thor smile. There's a sad moment when Bucky feels guilty about having sweets without Thunder and his mommy, but of course Loki just gives them each an egg. Mother's is that soft, dry, white confection the elves make, and Thor's is nightcherry, his favorite. Bucky calms down, seeing them enjoying their share of the sweets, and when Mother says that she has to do tests on them he only cries a little, clinging to the blonde boy.

“I will never hurt you,” Mother tells them, taking their free hands and leading them to the scanning room. Every step of the way, she explains what she's doing (at a level they can comprehend, and it's a good thing that Midgardian children still believe in magic) and she of course never makes them stop touching each other. Thor stays with them to help them feel safer, and Loki does more nursery magic, keeping them amused.

By the time Mother is finished, both of them are more than half asleep, leaning on each other. Mother gently urges them onto their feet, and Thor and Loki help her herd them into a guest bedroom, fitted up with a large, low bed with enough pillows to make it like a nest. Comforting for little ones, but nothing that will shame them if they wake up as adults. All three of them linger, tucking the little ones in and immediately sending a servant when the blond misses his elephant and starts to hyperventilate. He cries when Thor tucks it into his arms, and Thor strokes his hair, heart breaking for him.

“The elephant never hurt you,” Thor says softly. “It's okay to love her.”

The boy sniffles, but then Bucky hugs him, the blue rabbit pressed between them. Both of them are tired with all the crying and the sudden changes of the day, and they fall asleep as Thor watches. Loki carefully puts another blanket over both of them, and quietly asks Mother if the bedding is enchanted for children who wet.

“Of course it is, dear,” Mother says, her eyes gentle and sad.

Now that the first scans are done and the little ones are asleep and Father can't terrify them, Thor can go see him, and be held, and cry yet again as he breathes in the scent of his real father and feels the strength of his arms. Father holds him for a long time, and pulls Loki and Mother into the hug as well, relieved to see Thor again and so grateful for their help.

After that, there's only one thing Thor needs to being to feel like himself again. All through his captivity his connection to Mjolnir was still there, a faint, desperate thing that did neither of them any good. Now it's strong and clean again, and Thor calls the hammer to him. When the handle slaps into his palm it's as if he has regained a lost limb. He lets it carry him into the sky as a thunderstorm begins, the rain washing tears of joy from his face.


End file.
